Mix Tape

Here we go with yet another rant.

I got a notification tonight from a friend's blog that I used to follow (notice the past tense I used there). It was a shared post about harnessing your creativity. The share-r (not sire if that's a word, but it is now) said that it inspired, and being a man who loves all things inspirational, I dove right in.
Now as a critic, I will tell you that it was a bit boring and dry for my tastes (as this post probably is to you), and the content was nothing that I hadn't seen before.
So, as a friend, I let the share-r know, in a most tactful manner, that although I was glad she was inspired by the text, it did nothing for me. I knew it would probably start a small debate, and I was ready to back my argument, but I wasn't ready for her retort.
I can't quote it word for word, but it went something along the lines of "no one cares that it didn't inspire you."
I was flabbergasted, befoozled, and hoodwinked. For one, if you're going to post something, anything, on the internet, where anyone and everyone can see it, then you have to be able to expect a critical response. Two, to dismiss my critique in such a way is like a blow to the private parts. If you want to be critical of my opinion, I expect and deserve it to be done in a classy way, with some form of thought behind it, versus sarcasm. If you want to go the sarcastic route, then dismiss me from your friends list, and leave your posts to the cretans, who will blindly agree with everything you say. I have no patience for thee forms of shenanigans.
Anyways, that's my personal story for you. Here's a few more internet trends that are starting to get on my nerves:

Ebonics. It's not "hungry iz hell." Or worse, "hUnGrY iZ hElL." Grow up, talk like an adult before I insult you with words that are apparently above your grade level. Pay attention in English class instead of "rolling dat fat ass dope." This rolls into my next point.

Facebook nicknames. When I want to look at my news feed, I type in facebook.com, not myspace.com. So why is it I see names like Mz Holdyamoneyup Smith? That's not your name, and if it is, you should really get it changed. No one will respect that name. I already don't. If you have a cool nickname, put it in your info, not as your name. I like to know exactly who I'm insulting.

Sports related status'.
I get it. Your team won. Whoop-de-doo. Everyone knows it already. And if they don't, there's thirty other updates saying the exact same thing to make sure we're in the know. Thanks for your public news announcement. And now as the Super Bowl draws near, I'm seeing a smorgasbord of updates about how people are bandwagon fans, and they're not real fans. Get over yourself. I'm not going to stop watching football because my team didn't make it to the playoffs. I'm going to cheer for a team regardless of my team's standing. Just because I don't know the whole Giants' roster, doesn't mean I can't cheer when they dominate Green Bay. It's sports, calm down.

Lovey-dovey status updates.
Announcing your love for someone, or that you're missing your significant other is perfectly fine. On occasion. When every status you have regards the apparent love of your life, that's when we have a problem. Let me cut to the chase here: no one really cares. "I talked to my hubby today, he makes me so happy! I love him so much it hurts!" One, you're only fourteen. Calm down Juliet. Two, and most importantly, I DON'T CARE!

"Arrow to/in the knee" jokes.
If you're a Youtube-aholic like I am, you know exactly what I mean. This meme needs to die. Fast. I don't even know how it got as big as it did. I thought it was stupid from the beginning, like most memes I come across. Hey look I can make a joke! I used to (insert video subject here), but then I took an arrow to the knee. Sounds stupid the first time. But when it's spread like HIV across the Youtube comment board, internet suicide. And then it evolved into something worse. "I used to think arrow to the knee jokes were funny, but then I took an arrow to the knee." And so on and so forth. There should be a Youtube ban on these things, but the admins probably took a coma to the brain.

Well, that's all my brain has to spew right now. I really don't care for this post, so I might not advertise it to the masses. I'm still waiting for my next literary masterpiece. It's coming, and soon, I promise.