Undisclosed Desires

This is my overdue rant. Now, before this carnival of fury begins, I'll lay down some ground rules so everyone understands what's going on, and there's no confusion.

1) Feelings will get hurt, and I hope they do. I want these words to carry some power, and maybe it'll help some people get their lives a little more organized and prioritized.
2) Yes, this is mainly a complaint about people complaining. Hypothetical? Maybe. But this is MY blog. You are MY guest. You will play according to MY rules. My is capitalized to show ownership, me being the owner. While you're on this page, you belong to me. If you don't like it, go kick rocks.
3) If you question MY (there it is again, must be important) opinion, I will verbally destroy you in front of your loved ones and friends. I have that power.

So, without further hesitation, let the s*** show begin.

Starting with:

FAT PEOPLE-
Ok, let me explain. I don't have a problem with normal fat people. Definition of normal fat person? Jolly bigger person, reminiscent of old Saint Nick. If you can accept your weight and yourself for who you are, good on you. Kudos, and here's my respect.

HOWEVER!

If you complain about your weight, and act jealous of all the slender girls/fit guys, who you insist on labelling as "anorexic" or "on steroids," we're going to have problems. How dare you insult them for their superior physique when you clearly can't take care of yours. They work hard to maintain their athleticism. Instead of being jealous, why don't you just try running? It'll make you feel good, I promise.

EMO KIDS-

I embrace some aspects of this lifestyle and psyche. SOME. I respect the new musical genre it's birthed, and I'm glad that more teenagers these days are expressing their feelings.

HOWEVER!

For starters, you're expressing the wrong feelings. Who celebrates sadness and depression? No one respectable! You're crazy. Why don't you celebrate fun and laughter, by having more fun and laughing more frequently? That's a pretty nice lifestyle right there!
And why are you sad in the first place? Is your girlfriend/boyfriend breaking up with you enough to make you wear all black and start cutting your wrists? Because if that's all it takes, you better have a really good knife, because you're going to be cutting for a LONG time. Life sucks sometimes. Get over it whiner. Two weeks into deployment, I found out one of my best friends just got blown up by an IED. They wouldn't let me go for a week to see him, even though we weren't doing anything useful yet. Oh well, there's nothing I can do. I have to keep moving. Grow up children, and see the world for its ample beauty, and not its few shortfalls.

BAD SPELLERS AND GRAMMAR OFFENDERS!!!

I want you all to die. Seriously. There is no redeeming quality here. Some of you may know that one of my Facebook activities is to very rudely point out bad typing. Whether it's poor spelling, horrible grammar, or both, I will make sure you look like an idiot. Because you are. And when you get mad, I get even happier, trust me. I am what they call a troll/flamer. I get a rise out of people getting angry at me. Especially when you try to argue with me, that's the best. The Internet is my specialty. I will embarass you severely all over your Facebook wall. DO NOT mess with me on the Internet. If I correct you on something, trust me when I say I'm right. I'm kind of smart. Don't get offended, you just learned something for free. If you do get offended, shut up and move on. If you decide to have the audacity to call me out, you better come packing some heat, because I will make your head spin.

Alright, this is getting pretty long. I'll split it up for now, and carry it over to another session. If you're angry already, just stop coming here, it's only going to get worse.  As for the rest of my intelligent and thought producing readers, I hope you were entertained. You, the thinking few, deserve some food and joy for thought. I hope I can continue to provide.